Finding Balance and Wholeness
This is the final piece in our October series on The Shadow Side of Leadership. Having explored shadow in ourselves and in teams, we now turn to the work of integration.
Trying to get rid of your shadow doesn’t work. It’s part of being human. But ignoring it doesn’t work either. The opportunity is to integrate it: to notice it, name it, and navigate it by choosing how you want to lead.
What if leadership maturity…
had less to do with being polished or flawless, and more to do with the willingness to face ourselves fully, learning to lead with both light and shadow in hand?
What integration looks like in practice
- The perfectionist still values excellence and learns where “good enough” enables progress.
- The rescuer still cares deeply and learns that stepping back empowers others to step up.
- The conflict avoider still values harmony and learns that leaning into tension builds stronger trust
Every strength has a shadow, and every shadow has something to teach. When we bring them together, we become more balanced, more human, and more trustworthy as leaders.
Where you might begin...
- Pause when triggered: Instead of reacting, ask yourself what part of you just got triggered
- Seek feedback: Treat it as a mirror, not a threat.
- Invite open, safe dialogue: Encourage honest conversations in your team about what’s not being said.
- Acknowledge openly: Share your own awareness of shadow moments to model authenticity.
Reflection Prompts
- Which of your strengths tends to tip into shadow under pressure?
- How do you usually respond when your shadow gets called out?
- What might become possible if you led with both your light and your shadow, side by side?
Integrating shadow isn’t about excusing blind spots or toleratingpoor behaviour. It’s about taking responsibility for the parts of ourselves that can get in the way, and choosing to meet them with awareness instead ofdenial.
Leaders who lean into this often model accountability and authenticity, showing that strength comes less from perfection and more from honesty, humility, and the courage to keep learning.
Images by Denys Argyriou, Isaac Quesada and Valeria Nikitina on Unsplash
