This is the second blog in our November series on The Art of Unlearning. After exploring how letting go creates space for what matters, we now turn inward - to what happens within us as unlearning invites us to expand how we see ourselves as leaders.
Most leaders develop a set of patterns that make them effective - the habits, strengths and responses that have built trust and shape how we show up. Over time, these patterns form part of our leadership identity.
But at some point, those very same patterns can start to box us in.
Maybe you notice it when you jump into a decision before others have had space to share their perspectives.
Or when you ease tension in a meeting that might have led to a breakthrough.
Or when you default to your area of expertise instead of inviting new thinking from the room.
Moments like these often signal an invitation - not to reinvent yourself, but to expand.
When Familiar Strengths Start to Limit Range
Our leadership identity is often reinforced by success.
The strategist keeps being strategic.
The peacemaker keeps keeping the peace.
The driver keeps getting results.
But when the environment and our context shifts, those same strengths can start to limit range.
Some of these patterns might sound familiar:
- Leaning on logic when the moment calls for empathy.
- Defusing conflict too soon instead of helping the team move through it.
- Taking control when what’s actually needed is collaboration.
These responses come from our strengths, yet when they become automatic, they close off possibility and limit our impact.
The shift begins when we meet our patterns them with curiosity instead of criticism - seeing them as one of our ways of behaving, not who we are.
Loosening identity isn’t always comfortable.
Our patterns of thinking and behaving often bring us respect and reliability – they’re part of how others see us. Stepping beyond them can feel risky, especially in systems that reward consistency more than experimentation.
Yet, each time we lead from awareness instead of habit, we create permission for others to grow too.
Making Room for Range
Unlearning your leadership identity is less about stepping away from who you are and more about expanding how you lead.
Small, intentional shifts can open big doors;
- Start a conversation with a question rather than a plan.
- Allow disagreement to play out instead of fixing it fast.
- Name uncertainty and invite others to explore it with you.
Each choice widens your circle of leadership impact.
Practical Ways to Explore Loosening Your Leadership Identity
Notice your default - When tension rises, which part of you takes the lead: the expert, the harmoniser, the driver? Awareness opens choice.
Experiment gently - In your next meeting, try one new behaviour; ask a question before offering perspective, let someone else summarise the decision, pause before filling silence. Small experiments reveal big insights.
Seek perspective - Ask a trusted colleague ‘What do you see me doing onautopilot?’, ‘What impact does it have?’. Feedback from those who experience your leadership day-to-day can reveal patterns you can’t always see yourself.
Reflect and adjust - At the end of the week, note where you tried something new and what shifted. Did the conversation deepen? Did others step forward? Did you feel lighter? Your shifts can create ripples of change.
Reflection
- Which parts of your leadership feel over-relied on right now?
- What would stretch your range this week - and what might that make possible?
The art of unlearning invites us to lead beyond our habits - to rediscover the edges of who we can be, one conscious experiment at a time.
In the final blog of this series, we’ll explore how unlearning helps us lead through uncertainty - finding clarity in curiosity when the path ahead is still unfolding.
Images by Dan Farrell, Arjan deJong and Possessed Phototgraphy Unsplash
